Sunday, August 23, 2009

Offering Peace of Mind

A company says on its home page:

You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each
Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you've received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.

We are currently active in 20 states and growing. Our representatives have been screened to ensure that they are atheists, animal lovers, are moral / ethical with no criminal background, have the ability and desire to rescue your pet and the means to retrieve them and ensure their care for your pet's natural life.

We currently cover the following states:
Maine,New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Michigan, Arkansas, Mississippi, Tennessee, Kentucky, Colorado, Oklahoma, Kansas, Washington, Oregon, Idaho and Montana ... and growing.

Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable.
For $110.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $15.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged friends.

Unfortunately at this time we are not equipped to accommodate all species and must limit our services to dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, and small caged mammals.

Thank you for your interest in Eternal Earth-Bound Pets. We hope we can help provide you with peace of mind.


  1. The thing is, it states clearly in 1st Timothy that pets who belong to believers go with them to heaven, so, it's only pets belonging to atheists who will be left after the rapture.

  2. Some people here are hoping pets go to heaven:

    But they do say that pets don't have a soul. So how could they have an afterlife?

    Here's a guy who makes this more clear:

    He says:
    "Notice, for example, that when the new heavens and new earth are made that there is no longer any sea (Revelation 21:1). Presumably, then, there will be no more whales or even fish. ...

    There will be animals in the millennium, with the carnivores made pacific (see Isaiah 11:6-9), such as lions eating straw like oxen. But they will be on earth, not in heaven. Heaven is a realm for spirit beings only, not fleshly ones that have no "spirit in man" (cf. 1Corinthians 2:11) that will preserve their forms of consciousness. Men will live with them on earth, but not in the eternal state after the new heaven and new earth are made (which is the most mysterious aspect of the Bible's revelation, I think)."

    This guy says that pets go to heaven because he feels that way:

    More here:

    Then there are hours and hours of reading fun here:

  3. Of course, I don't believe in any of that, anyway...

  4. Shall we take bets for how many angels can dance on the head of a pin?

    And what about the point of a pin?

    Does it depend on the type of dance? Um...line dance vs. ballroom vs. hip-hop vs. ballet...

    Do they dance alone or with a partner?

    Do they wear togas for hip-hop, or do they change?